engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

(via dadsworld)

lizziemcganja:

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

image

image

(via kingsleyyy)

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

(via tiny-paaws)